What are sexual intimacy problems?
Sexual problems are common and affect people of all ages and backgrounds. A clear indicator of this is the variety of products in pharmacies that aim to improve comfort, duration, or sensitivity, demonstrating that it is a concern for many. In fact, recent studies indicate that 43% of women and 31% of men report some type of sexual difficulty.
These difficulties can be short-term or long-term, and are often caused or amplified by stress, medical issues, genetic or hormonal factors. They include a wide range of challenges, such as:
- Difficulty becoming aroused
- Difficulty reaching orgasm
- Pain or discomfort
- High levels of stress or anxiety
- Avoiding sex due to fear or low self-esteem
Although these problems are common in the general population, individuals may face additional challenges due to trauma.
Why do people experience sexual problems?
Sex can become a physical, mental, or emotional reminder of trauma. This is a natural response from your limbic system, which seeks to protect you from unpleasant experiences. It is similar to when you eat something that makes you sick and then feel averse to trying it again. Overcoming sexual problems related to trauma also requires a gradual process of small steps.
Common sexual problems due to trauma
People may associate sexual arousal with shame and guilt, especially if they experienced it during a case of abuse or for religious reasons. Although arousal is a natural body response and does not mean they consented to or enjoyed the abuse, it is challenging to separate feelings of shame and betrayal from pleasure and intimacy. This shame can act as a barrier to sexual enjoyment, affecting their perception of their body and self-worth, as well as their current relationships.
It is also common to feel disinterested in sexual activity. Sometimes, individuals may feel triggered by activities or environments that remind them of the trauma. Others may experience pain or discomfort during sex (vaginismus), which is related to the limbic system's attempt to protect the body with physiological pain signals.
In other cases, they may feel emotional numbness or even completely dissociate. Dissociation can make them lose track of time or feel as if they are outside their body, observing the situation from an external perspective.
These responses are the ways the limbic system protects you from a perceived danger. A trigger may occur even with a partner you fully trust. The alarm of the limbic system seeks to put distance between you and the situation, even if it is one you wish to enjoy.
Additionally, some individuals may feel that sex is necessary to be loved or that their body is the only thing they can offer in a relationship. This can lead them to engage in risky sexual behaviors, often referred to as hypersexuality.
